Lisa Bent | Inside Out
PRECIOUS is delighted to welcome our new columnist, transformational counsellor and blogger, Lisa Bent. Check in with Lisa each month, right here, where she’ll be writing about personal development, mental health, social issues and a whole lot more…
Entering into its 11th year, The PRECIOUS Awards celebrates the success stories of Women of Colour. This is a necessary platform and I thank founder Foluke Akinlose MBE for having this idea, believing in it and birthing it into existence. As a result, Belief is the theme that I want to focus on today as the first of my monthly contributions.
Through the former President and First Lady of the United States, Barack and Michelle Obama, we witnessed an unapologetic blackness. An authentic display of black love coupled with grace, compassion, humour and intelligence, on the world’s biggest stage.
Seeing them, gave so many of us something and that something from my perspective was and is belief. The unwavering belief that you should dare to dream and dream to the highest ideal of yourself , whilst paying no attention to those who say you can’t.
When deciding to run with an idea there will usually be two types of critics, The Outsiders and The Insiders. The Outsiders are your friends, family and anyone you have told, who respond to your idea with their opinions as to why it won’t work. These are dream killers and they shouldn’t be listened to, even if they have your best interests at heart. Why? They are not psychic and they certainly are not the expert of you.
We listen to Outsiders because we seek validation, we care what people think and value the opinion of those we ask. We cannot control people’s responses, but we can control who we tell our ideas too. If you do need to check something out with someone, choose someone who will give you feedback from a place of love and encouragement.
The Insider is your self-talk, the inner critic and the biggest critic. It is on hand to whisper doubt in your ear and bring you to your senses. This self-talk is also a liar, who hates growth and loves comfort and therefore it is a dream killer too. However, you can control it.
First you have to;
- acknowledge it exists
- understand when it appears
- understand what it says
This involves self-reflection, which requires self-awareness. You are with you for the rest of your life, so it’s imperative that you understand yourself, like yourself, invest in yourself and become your own expert by knowing yourself. You cannot successfully move forward without understanding how you talk to yourself and in turn sabotage yourself.
We all stand on different stages. Some work on a large scale, some on a smaller scale. Some work on ground level. Some are known to the world, some are known to a smaller circle of people. No matter the stage you are on, or the stage you are at, the world is big enough for your shine, your words, your services, your talent, your all.
recognise you are dimming your light
recognise you feel stuck or are going round in circles
recognise you see greatness in others, but cannot pull out the greatness in you
then this article is your nudge.
We are all made of the same stuff, the same magic and what is holding you back can be unclipped so that you can fly.
We are all capable of flying, but situations, experiences, belief systems and self-talk can cage us. Nothing lasting and enriching comes from a quick fix. To change, grow and become all that you are, involves looking beyond what lies at surface level and a willingness to dig deeper than you have dug before. For that is where the breakthrough lies, the hidden treasures that have always been there, inside you, waiting for you to find.
In the pursuit of wanting to get there, we miss here, where we are now. Now is all we have, and in the now, the aim is to couple self with belief so that self-belief forms. Once you have this, the external validation will reduce and you will just do you, in line with your vision,
Once you have this, the external validation will reduce and you will just do you, in line with your vision, dream and goal. Society shows us on a visual and felt level the inconsistencies, the injustices, the shifting of goal posts, the glass ceilings and the barriers, however your job is to understand and notice, but not to buy into it because that too is a dream killer.
We live within the universe, the vastness of that is incomprehensible and therefore the possibility of anything is possible; the power of which does not lie in the hands of people with big titles.
Do the work, show up, be consistent, do what you love and let the universe, law of attraction and synchronicity do their bit. Belief + self-belief = possibilities. Hold on to that idea and follow it through, it came to you for a reason.
Good luck on the journey back to self.
You can find more about Lisa at: