Rasheed Ogunlaru – Coach on the Couch – April

Dear Rasheed,

I have been in business for just over eight years. I’ve carved out a niche for myself in the food industry.  About 10  months ago, a friend who had never really shown an interest in setting up a business, did just that and the business she has set up is quite similar to mine. She’s been really successful in a really short space of time, she is featured in magazines and been interviewed by national newspapers and her products she says are selling themselves.
I am finding myself feeling quite jealous of her success. How do I cope with these feelings and also keep my friendship?

Thank you,
Joyce

 

 

Dear Joyce,

First of all it takes a lot of courage to admit, acknowledge and verbalise that you’re quite jealous of your friends’ success. Perhaps, more importantly, it’s great that you’re keen to find a way to cope and move on from those feelings and to also keep your friendship.

OK, let’s tackle the jealous feelings and how to cope with them first. My initial tip is to recognize that that’s linked to you wanting your food business to succeed. Give yourself credit for the fact you want to do well. Now do what a serious athlete would do if friend had come along and starting winning and gaining lots of publicity too – and I don’t mean cheat. Let it inspire you to work harder. It looks like your friend has raised the bar. See it as good competition to help you succeed. Take an industry like yours –you’ll see many restaurants next door to each other and sandwich shops. What’s working in your business already? How can you build on it? What areas aren’t working? Maybe finance, marketing or operations? Learn from your friends business and others in the industry too.  Get out there and network, learn what you need to learn build contacts that can help you build your business and win more business. If you need more expertise or leverage it may be that you need to also seek out a mentor who has been there, done it and can help you raise your game.

Now to the issue with your friend. Let them know that you care. Tell them that you’ve been impressed and even in awe of what they’ve achieved.  Many great athletes who are rivals on the track actually train together.  Support each other or learn from each other’s strong points. I wonder what can you learn from each other if you have the conversation. But the key thing is that you do have that conversation. It may even be that you keep your business issues to one side and leave the food biz on the back burner when you’re not working so that you can socialize, share and enjoy the friendship. It’s not all work,  good friends are key to keep us in balance along this entrepreneurial journey.

Best wishes, Rasheed

PS. If you want to sharpen up on all these things, then come along to Rasheed’s  Networking for Success event at the British Library

Do you have a question for Rasheed? Email him here

About your coach: and his approach: Rasheed Ogunlaru is a leading life coach, motivational speaker and business coach. His clients include entrepreneurs, Chief Executives, entertainers, teachers, healers and organisations.

He is the author of a range of inspiring books, audio talks and videos including the internationally acclaimed book Soul Trader – Your Life Your Business and the founder of Evolved Heart.

He often appears in the media including appearances on BBC and ITV News. He is the life/business coach partner to the British Library’s Business & IP Centre where he runs a monthly workshop for new and established business owners and sole traders.

Rasheed is renowned for his ‘become who you are’ approach that helps people of all background find greater fulfilment in all areas of their lives, careers, businesses and relationships – from within. He’s a co-host of the PRECIOUS Awards and a popular member of our team of specialists.
Web: www.rasaru.com   Twitter @rasheedogunlaru